Enough with Boss Babes

There is an abundance of terminology floating around on social media. It comes and goes, and it tends to reappear every few years, as a new group of women reach parenthood.  This is the age of the MLM - or multi-level marketing companies. We all know that one person, or the group of women (they tend to come in bunches) who sell various items to their friends and family. They make money selling, of course, but they make even more money by recruiting and managing other salespeople. As the boss, you will earn a percentage of the sale that those under you successfully sell. 

Don't get me wrong, there are lots of amazing products out there being sold by great people. I have no problem with trying to make some extra income, learning new skills, trying something new. Its the terminology that goes along with all of it.  There are a few terms, 'Girl Boss' or 'Mom Boss', and of course my favourite - 'Boss Babe'.  I'm going to focus on that last one.

I am a decently successful woman. I have a university degree and a number of college certificates. I have a full-time job where I manage an assistant and two small businesses.  I do freelance writing on the side. Not one of these accomplishments requires me to be a 'babe'.  They require my brain to function effectively, efficiently, and in some cases spectacularly.

I mean, what is a babe anyway?  Traditionally this term was reserved for a newborn child. Like everything, the term has evolved.  According to a google definition search, babe is also defined as a sexually attractive young woman.  

Is this how we, as women, want to define ourselves in the professional world?  There is absolutely nothing wrong with being sexy, and if you've got it, feel free to flaunt it.  But at a time when woman are STILL fighting for equality and for recognition of our worth, value, and intelligence in the workplace, why do so many of us insist on continuing to fall back to this?

Perhaps you're still not following me. Consider the equivalent for a man, if they chose to take on similar terminology. Would you be drawn to work with a man who labelled himself as 'Stud Boss'?  Probably not. 

I come from a long line of successful women who continue to be amazing role models to me. Their success came from hard work and perseverance. Whether or not they were 'babes' should remain irrelevant to their personal achievements.

My Mother's Day Shortcomings

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  Its a day I look forward to all year long.  That certainly isn't because of overly successful past events, but rather because of the possibility that it could be amazing.  Sure, its wonderful to think that for just one day, the children will be on their very best behaviour, no one will be ill, and that my spouse will take over and do all the things that normally fill my weekend hours.  And then there's the reality: its a commercialized day, one filled with retail purchases of chocolates, spa days, gift cards, and flowers.

I love, in fact I look forward to, the sweet little gifts and cards that my children create for me, and the hugs that accompany them.  As they get older, the sweetness in these gifts is replaced by genuinely nice comments and reflections on our recent experiences. And its these moments that I absolutely LOVE.  Its nice to hear once in a while that my boys do cherish so many of the things that I do for them.

But the rest of it can stop.  The ideal that I'll just sit around for an entire day and wait for others to do things for me?  That's about as unrealistic as it can be.  For that to happen means that the day before and the day following Mother's Day will be chaotic frenzied adventures in trying to squeeze in my to-do list items.

This year fell short on most levels.  I'm pretty sure everyone forgot what day it was.  There was no attempt to make mommy breakfast, not even a cup of coffee.  I was the last one to leave the breakfast table - and noticed a kitchen full of dirty dishes. So, I took care of those.  We went to a baseball game, and our team lost.  There were free shirts being given away, and we walked in seconds after the last one was taken.  Our planned parking spots at the stadium were all full, so we drove around in search of others.  And that nice quiet evening with a cup of tea and my favourite tv shows?  Nope, that ideal was replaced with spending the night rubbing the back of an unwell child.

Would I change a thing?  Nope!  I love being their Mommy.  I love helping them, and love the ins and outs of our everyday existence.  My only mistake, the one thing I knew better than, but fell victim to, was the ideal of Mother's Day.  Life isn't perfect, I don't think it would be any fun if it was.  So, now that its Monday and I'm here at my desk, I find myself smiling as I look at the sweet handmade cards filled with random and silly comments about the things my boys like most about me, Mommy.

The Day My Love Affair Died

I've always been a New Kids on the Block fan. Sort of.  When I was between the ages of 13 and 15, they were my everything. But it ended abruptly.  I remember it clearly - the day I suddenly lost my yearning for more, the day I realized they could no longer give me what I needed.  If you fast forward 25 + years, I suddenly see that I've come full circle.

There was a reunion of the band in 2008.  It was amazing.  It was unexpected ... and as a stay-at-home mother of two little boys, and the wife of a travelling husband ... it was exactly what I needed. There were concerts, road trips, front row seats, meet and greet opportunities, and cruises - FIVE of them. I got to relive the entire super fan experience, but this time it was the way I wanted it - not under the constraints of my strict and budget conscious parents.  But, like with anything I suppose, it had to come to an end.

I could sense it was coming.  I was losing my feverish anticipation of tour announcements. I no longer spent hours, days, and weeks anxiously planning for upcoming NKOTB events.  Over the summer, I spent a mortgage payment worth of money on concerts.  I was looking forward to seeing other 'blockheads' that I'd formed friendships with over the years.  And it was great. The concerts were spectacular as always.  The meet and greets were over the top and everything I had ever dreamed of.  But that was the beginning of the end ... I'd completed all of my bucket list items.

Then the cruise came.  Again, excitement ... but not like before.  I went, I saw, I enjoyed, I laughed a LOT.  But one particular new kid made a comment, just one, directly to me, and it all became very clear.  I'd already gotten what I needed out of this relationship.  By continuing to indulge beyond this point was doing nothing but padding his ego and his bankbook, and his former displays of gratitude and thankfulness seemed to have disappeared in exchange for narcissism.

Please don't confuse my words as hatred or frustration for any members of the group. I've just reached the point of being fully satisfied and now have so much more in my own life now that is filling that previous gap.  I will continue to enjoy the band, but it'll be different now.

:)

Its THAT time of year again!

Its fall again.  Sort of.  My kids pointed out that fall doesn't start for a few more days.  Fine. But I did see coloured leaves falling to the ground today, and temperatures in the morning are jacket worthy ... so, close enough.

The kids have been back in school for eight days, and already my oldest is home sick. Great.  My fingers are crossed that its not a sign of what's to come this year.  Let's hope not, I've got plans.  BIG plans!  Sure, there's Halloween, birthday parties, fall yard clean-up ... but that's not all...

Yup, if you guessed these plans might be boy band related, then you're right!  I'm booked on my fifth and final (I say that every year) New Kids on the Block cruise!  

*Queue the little squeals of joy that involuntarily leave my body whenever I mention it!*  

I'm sure that every mother, at some point, has experienced the joy of having a few nights of child-free joy where they can sleep in, eat when and what they want, and have a couple of drinks without the worry of having to wake up at some unspeakable hour in the morning. That's what this cruise is for me, and its becoming a ritual.  

Oh sure, there are a number of wonderful friends that I can't wait to see, and the bonus feature of course of seeing my favourite boy band members frolicking on the lido deck each day, and the unlimited availability of activities.  But honestly, the one thing that really keeps me coming back is the *me* time.  I'm often asked if I worry about the kids while I'm gone.  I don't.  I really really don't. They're in good hands, getting spoiled by dad and likely grandparents.  And I'm on a cruise ship floating around in the Caribbean.  I'm pretty much unplugged and unavailable - so all the worrying in the world isn't going to get me anywhere. Besides, by the time I return, everyone is so ecstatic to see me that their behaviour turns angelic for a whopping ... okay, a mediocre 8 hours or so.  

So, cheers and bottoms up to those fruity delicious drink concoctions that Carnival plies us with as we sail away!  Mommy's taking a sanity break this Thanksgiving.  Save me some turkey!

Happiness on a new level

Another year ... another NKOTB cruise ... my fourth one.  Sometimes I think I'll stop going.  But in all honesty, that's not going to happen.  Its like a drug.  I NEED it to keep me focused through the looooong Canadian winter.

The 2014 cruise, from the day it was announced, was going to be different - we were sailing from Manhattan to Bermuda, in June. Not exactly the most tropical of ports, and heading to a place where the weather could really go in any direction. It wouldn't matter really. I'd likely book a cabin if they announced they were going to float around in Lake Ontario. 

Carnival Splendor

So, moving forward through those long, agonizing, boring 8 months ... I find myself arriving in Manhattan on the morning of the cruise.  And its pouring rain.  Nice try mother nature. Thankfully by the time I'd downed my first 'Funship Special' and tossed my belongings into the piddly cupboards of our stateroom, the clouds were parting and things were looking up!  People were pretty excited to be sailing down the Hudson River for the Sail Away party - I'm not going to lie, it sounded cool and I have amazing photos of the bottom half of the Statue of Liberty and the top 10 floors of the World Trade Center (there was no way I was moving from my spot on the party floor).  I'm on the NKOTB cruise - I've got 5 other things I'd much rather be viewing.  

The ship was pretty nice.  And when I say nice, I mean it was newer than the other Carnival ships we've been on.  It didn't have the same feeling of being held together with thumb tacks. There was more space to lounge around and relax between events ... but for partying on the Lido deck, this ship failed miserably.  Try packing 3000 guests into a sardine box.  Its not going to be comfortable.  Oh sure, there was a second level that gave it the appearance of a nightclub.  But once you got up there, you quickly realized that the sight lines meant you'd see only a tiny bit of the action.  I'd much rather be down on the dance floor, in the midst of the action anyway.  

Once you squeezed through the angry mob surrounding the main Lido area, it was all good. Sure, out in the mob, there was some squishing, some pushing, and sometimes heading out to the bathroom or the bar was an impossibility.  Yeah - thanks mean girls.  But the good stuff was really fun - having my hands on each of the guys thighs or butts as they crowd surfed over me - realizing Joey was standing right behind me as he meandered through - getting onto the stage with Danny for a group-selfie with my roommates - and all while we were dancing the night away and having a blast meeting people from all over the world.

Did I mention that the New Kids dressed up as Cowboys?  Um ... speechless.

The ocean was a bitch while we were sailing to Bermuda.  Lots of passengers were feeling it - but armed with my seasickness meds and a constant supply of drinks (anyone remember the server -  'fruity drinks - yummy yummy'?) made the entire experience a non-issue.  And did I mention the readily available pizza at all hours of the night!?!  I'm pretty sure I ate more than my share of it.  

Once we arrived in Bermuda, things calmed down for a few hours.  I visited the most beautiful beach on earth.  The sand was pink, and surf was rolling in.  My friend did a very graceful cartwheel when the first wave hit her.  My laughing and pointing got me an even bigger wave to the side of my head and a mouthful of saltwater.  It was worth it.  I do believe it was one of my most fun swimming experiences I've ever had!  We did a quick bus tour of the island, checked out the town of Hamilton, and got back on a ferry to the cruise ship.  Bermuda is now at the top of my list of places I need to visit again!

Horsehoe Beach, Bermuda

Back to the cruise.  The guys looked amazing.  They were much tamer than on other cruises. There are rampant theories as to why, including Donnie's recent engagement, the filming of a reality show on board, and perhaps even seasickness.  It didn't make a difference to me.  It was a great time.  We had a full concert on the ship - none of the former beach concerts and acoustic stuff - we had choreographed dancing, great singing, and new kids running down the aisles!  I'm not going to talk about the girl at the front who showed up each night in a bra - but seriously, did she lose her clothing?

NKOTB Concert on the Carnival Splendor

But the VERY best part of this cruise was my two amazing roommates!  I could not have asked for better girls to share all of this roller coaster ride with.  We laughed non-stop, slept for a few moments here and there, and they made sure that I remembered to eat once in a while.

We arrived back in Manhattan to pouring rain.  Again Mother Nature ... nice try.  My NKOTB high was too good for your miserable behaviour.  But next year, let's try tropical again.  I'm from Canada ... I need heat.  

Another cruise ... are we there yet?

Its the beginning of May, and yes ... I'm not-so-patiently waiting for June 5th to arrive. That morning I'll be jumping on a plane to NYC to meet up with a crowd full of crazies just like me.  Its the 6th annual NKOTB cruise, and my 4th time!

By this point each year, as the insane anticipation builds, there are endless discussion forums, tweets, Facebook posts, and blogs about what to pack, where to stay, how to stalk your favourite new kid, and how to be normal.  I'll be the first to admit that before my first cruise, I bombarded my travel mates with questions, concerns, and endless banter about what was about to happen.  At this point, I seem to have developed an apathetic attitude towards the entire event.  Its not that I'm not keen ... I'm just more, um ... relaxed.

The first year, I started packing in January. That will NOT be happening this time.  So, here's my silly list of cruise-related items, just so I don't feel left out:

1. Pack some stuff.   Once you've packed this stuff ... take out half of it.  You won't need it.  
2. Sleep.  Take care of yourself before you head to the port.  Its a weekend full of insanity, and sleep will be hard to find.  
3. Sunscreen.  Wear it.  A lot.  I'm a self-professed 'I don't burn' sort of girl ... but on that boat, in the middle of the ocean, it happens.
4. Be nice.  There are thousands of great people on the boat.  Say hello.  Strike up conversations.  Make friends.  If you're shy ... drink a Bahama Mama and see how things progress.
5. Get your moment.  All FIVE New Kids are on that boat.  Some are easier to find (i.e. Jon) than others.  So, if you find yourself near to one, mosey yourself over and say hi.  
6. Relax.  Its a big ship with tons to do.  Enjoy some of it.  Try out one of those hammocks, jump on the water-slide, visit the wine bar.
7. Research.  If you want to save some time on the boat, check out the deck plans in advance.  If you want to do an excursion, think about it now.  There is no time or energy for thinking when there are New Kids present!
8. Now if we could just figure out how to get those themes earlier ...  

Its all perfectly normal ... right BH's?

I'm a mom.  But don't stop reading because you think this will be full of mommy talk.  I'm not her.  I don't associate well with other moms.  Sure, I love my kids and who I am, but there's nothing I dislike more than blogs full of parenting blah blah blah.  I have interests - my husband calls them hobbies - but I'm not sure that's the right word.  Hobbies include things like sewing, playing cards, or hiking ... sure, i'm doing those things, but I'm not blogging about them.

Its my little secret.  Its not dirty ... most of the time.  Nor is it illegal.  It costs a lot of money.  It consumes a great deal of my time.  And it makes me giddy, like a little girl.  

I'm a boy band fan!  Before you judge me, I'm not saying that I inappropriately fawn over younger men.  I'm very specific in my obsession and it goes back 25 years.  I'm a Blockhead.  What is that?  Its the word that has been given to fans of New Kids on the Block.  I hate the term.  But thanks to a cyber world full of acronyms and shortened words, we now refer to ourselves as BHs - fans of NKOTB.

This world of crazy fans is an interesting place to be.  I, like many others, have convinced myself that I AM NORMAL.  I have control over myself in the presence of the band.  I don't publicly wear my concert merchandise, and I don't force my children to listen to their music.  When you exist in a bubble full of others just like yourself, a place where so many others have taken their obsession to the highest possible level, its easy to pretend that you're normal.  But if you were to ask my husband, or my parents, or my close friends what they think, you would see eyes rolling, heads shaking, and tsks of disapproval.  Its okay. They're just jealous. Maybe.

What exactly is it that they disapprove of?  Maybe the three (soon to be 4) NKOTB cruises that I've sailed on.  The countless concerts with, not 'average' seats, but awesome closer-than-close seats.  Attending events just because one of the band members might be in attendance.  Purchasing merchandise with their photos and logos on it, not because I'll ever wear them, but just because I can. Listening almost exclusively to their music in my car.  What?  Are you shaking your head too?

There are crazier fans.  Really, there are.  Thank goodness for those women.  They make this justifiable in my warped brain.  They also make for some hilarious stories and laughs. Its okay to be a little nuts.  Life is hard, and being a parent is the most challenging job in the world.  I'm a better person and an even better mom because I've learned how to take breaks and do something for myself. I've made new friends with amazing women.  I've learned how to channel my inner 12 year old.  And I've learned that it feels good, really good, to smile from ear to ear!